Tattoos, Sakuras, And Music : Words from Singer Sarah Bernadette

By @sarah.bernadette

Mixed identity is tricky, though I wish it didn’t have to be. I wish I could just tell people that I am half Japanese and half white, and leave it at that. But, as any mixed race person will tell you, everyone wants you to pick sides, as if that’s possible. I’ve always found that to be such a silly question, one that trivializes my very real, complex identity. Which is, most simply put, mixed. It isn’t white, “basically white”, Asian, exotic, “interesting”, or anything else. Just mixed. 

Since I refuse to pick one side, I have realized I put an unfair amount of pressure on myself to be the “right” representation of my mixedness. I’m aware that to many I don’t read as Asian, and worry that my being white-passing means that participating in any part of Japanese culture may come across as appropriative. At the same time, I really am proud of my heritage, and don’t want to be seen as just white, because who wants to be seen as something that doesn’t fully encompass their being? 

My first tattoo is of a cherry blossom branch—in Japanese, “sakura”. To me, it was the perfect first tattoo. For one, I had a cherry tree growing up, so it was nostalgic, aside from being pretty. Furthermore, cherry blossoms are culturally significant in Japan: as their blossoms bloom and die within a span of a few days, they have come to symbolize the fleeting beauty of life. As someone with anxiety who tends to obsess over small details over the big picture, having something on my body to remind me that life is short and beautiful is meaningful. Despite all this, I spent so much time wondering if my tattoo would just make me look like another clueless white person getting a tattoo of kanji / other “exotic” Asian wisdom on their body, without knowing anything about its background. After chatting with one of my close friends who is also a mixed Asian woman with similar qualms, she reaffirmed that, because Japanese culture is part of my culture, of course I should get the tattoo. I got it, and it served as part of the cover to my debut EP, titled Sakura. 

I gave my first EP a Japanese title because of the symbolism behind “sakura” and its particular significance in my life. The songs on the EP are all original, and though they do not directly address issues of being mixed race, they are all deeply personal, as is the meaning behind “sakura” to me. (I do intend to write music that grapples more specifically with my background, though!) Additionally, because it was my first “official” release as an artist and my stage name doesn’t include my (very Japanese) last name, I wanted my audience to be clued in to my full identity, my mixed identity. 

Listen to and follow Sarah’s amazing work below!

https://open.spotify.com/album/5H4BhIKShcdLhn7V4ZsbeG?si=Rb5942K6ThuBvDDBwsGcag

Instagram: @sarah.bernadette